this punchline is a joke

23 year old nurse who will not "practice mouth to mouth on you" and will instead offer a free prostate exam to those who attempt that pick up line for the 5,632 time.
Recent Tweets @fly_chickadee
  • Me: Who's a good boy?
  • Dog: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
  • Me: YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!
  • Dog: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But women can never be careful enough, can we? If we take naked pictures of ourselves, we’re asking for it. If someone can manage to hack into our accounts, we’re asking for it. If we’re not wearing anti-rape nail polish, we’re asking for it. If we don’t take self-defence classes, we’re asking for it. If we get drunk, we’re asking for it. If our skirts are too short, we’re asking for it. If we pass out at a party, we’re asking for it. If we are not hyper-vigilant every single fucking second of every single fucking day, we are asking for it. Even when we are hyper-vigilant, we’re still asking for it. The fact that we exist is asking for it.

This is what rape culture looks like.

This is what misogyny looks like.

ihaveabsolutelynoidea:

god saw his children suffering and was like “hey what if you took bread and made it into a bowl and put soup or pasta in there how cool would that be”

and it was good

(via official-mens-frights-activist)

  • me: whats your opinion on tampons
  • little brother: they're little fuzzy sticks on strings
  • me: then you are ultimately more mature than most boys
  • little brother: why
  • me: for some reason tampons are gross and taboo just cuz they go in a vagina
  • little brother: well so does a penis and boys never stop talking about those
  • me:
  • little brother:
  • me: that is a fantastic point
danfawaz:

punchbuggydragon:

barefootdramaturg:

littlemoongoddess:

zeeewa:

my thor art is just getting more ridiculous each time i draw him

can you imagine though…
one day thor is reading up on currents and he sees an article about captain america playing ball with a kid and its the make-a-wish foundation
so thor gets curious and interested and asks Steve to get him involved and they find out a little girl with cancer just wants a tea party with a real prince and thor is like “i am a prince of asgard” and he goes and has a tea party with her and brings apple tarts “because, little midgardian maid, i am told it is tradition to have sweets with tea” and the apple tarts are made with the mythical apples that keep asgardians healthy and after the tea party, the doctors are mystified how she is miraculously healed.

This is how I like my Thor

I nearly scrolled past.
And then I read it.
Those aren’t tears they are liquid feels.

No no wait, it gets better. Within a year, she gets superpowers. She gains the strength of an Asgardian because the apples are supposed to keep Asgsardians healthy, not just humans. She then becomes Thor’s apprentice. Bam. 

danfawaz:

punchbuggydragon:

barefootdramaturg:

littlemoongoddess:

zeeewa:

my thor art is just getting more ridiculous each time i draw him

can you imagine though…

one day thor is reading up on currents and he sees an article about captain america playing ball with a kid and its the make-a-wish foundation

so thor gets curious and interested and asks Steve to get him involved and they find out a little girl with cancer just wants a tea party with a real prince and thor is like “i am a prince of asgard” and he goes and has a tea party with her and brings apple tarts “because, little midgardian maid, i am told it is tradition to have sweets with tea” and the apple tarts are made with the mythical apples that keep asgardians healthy and after the tea party, the doctors are mystified how she is miraculously healed.

This is how I like my Thor

I nearly scrolled past.

And then I read it.

Those aren’t tears they are liquid feels.

No no wait, it gets better. Within a year, she gets superpowers. She gains the strength of an Asgardian because the apples are supposed to keep Asgsardians healthy, not just humans. She then becomes Thor’s apprentice. Bam. 

marvelobsessions:

remember when the avengers was new?

remember how exciting it was to finally have some of our favorite superheros interacting in one movie?

remember getting chills during this scene?

image

remember feeling like a superhero when the screen went black and the credit music came on?

Please never forget how special The Avengers is. 

(via geothebio)

austere-fallen-angel:

does anybody else clean their phone screen by wiping it on their boob or is that just me

(via assheol)

aplacetolovedogs:

Our dog hates water in his ears, we found a solution

Puppypunting

Visit our poster store Rover99.com

dulect:

if you gave me $1000 to spend I would still click lowest to highest price