this punchline is a joke

23 year old nurse who will not "practice mouth to mouth on you" and will instead offer a free prostate exam to those who attempt that pick up line for the 5,632 time.
Recent Tweets @
nurse-life:

HOW I FEEL WHEN MY CONFUSED PATIENT KEEPS TAKING OFF HER GOWN.

nurse-life:

HOW I FEEL WHEN MY CONFUSED PATIENT KEEPS TAKING OFF HER GOWN.

(via nurseeyeroll)

our-greater-perhaps:

THIS WAS MY FAVORITE SCENE FROM THE ENTIRE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS TV SERIES

(via danfawaz)

vrumblr:

shaughnessykeely:

PLEASE REPOST!!!
THIS HORRIBLE PERSON stole our 10 month old French Bulldog, Chloe, last night from my work! I let her pet Chloe and she picked her up and ran out the door into a black car with no license plates and drove away. This was very obviously a planned robbery. Luckily for us, we have surveillance cameras. If any of my followers in Vancouver know of this young woman or have seen our precious Chloe, PLEAAAASE contact either @kyleboosh or myself AND/OR the Vancouver Police Department at 604-717-3321. We are so heartbroken and just want her back home safely! THANK-YOU!!!

#bringhomechloe #vancouver
#littlebabychloe

What the fuck?

(via beckbeckgoose)

hullodearie:

Fake Pockets: A How To

(via beckbeckgoose)

beckbeckgoose:

I could just write my name on my Korean History exam and still get a 67.

theclocktowerguardian:

dorkmeetstumblr:

acanthachaos:

I find this so adorable :3💜

THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE. #thedream

For Amber

(via danfawaz)

curtis-ballard:

Your body is made of the same elements that lionesses are built from. Three quarters of you is the same kind of water that beats rocks to rubble, wears stones away. Your DNA translates into the same twenty amino acids that wolf genes code for. When you look in the mirror and feel weak, remember, the air you breathe in fuels forest fires capable of destroying everything they touch. On the days you feel ugly, remember: diamonds are only carbon. You are so much more.

(via beckbeckgoose)

scifigrl47:

geardrops:

fastcompany:

Portable Robot Printer Is Like A Roomba That Squirts Ink

it’s so cute i want an army of them

OH MY GOD IT’S LIKE A MAGIC WRITING BOX I WANT IT.

(via beckbeckgoose)