this punchline is a joke

23 year old nurse who will not "practice mouth to mouth on you" and will instead offer a free prostate exam to those who attempt that pick up line for the 5,632 time.
Recent Tweets @fly_chickadee

True love is your boyfriend rubbing lidocaine and aloe vera on your second degree sunburns on your back and chest and not getting a boner out of courtesy to your pain and suffering. Even though boobs. He’s the best.

edgebug:

instead of watching the 50 Shades trailer, why not just make awkward eye contact with a total stranger at the grocery store for a solid 2 minutes and 34 seconds? you get the same skin-crawling, uncomfortable feeling but without the shitty writing, terrible acting and massive dose of rape culture

(via official-mens-frights-activist)

nbprochoice:

Abortion is healthcare, and healthcare is a RIGHT!

#SavetheClinic Rally in Fredericton.

#NBProchoice #ProchoixNB

(via danfawaz)

This is the sunburn from hell. The cat clawed my shoulder and all the blisters popped open and now the skin is raw and excruciating. I keep slathering it in ointment but I’m wincing here.

"My response to the “I am not a feminist” internet phenomenon….

First of all, it’s clear you don’t know what feminism is. But I’m not going to explain it to you. You can google it. To quote an old friend, “I’m not the feminist babysitter.”

But here is what I think you should know.

You’re insulting every woman who was forcibly restrained in a jail cell with a feeding tube down her throat for your right to vote, less than 100 years ago.

You’re degrading every woman who has accessed a rape crisis center, which wouldn’t exist without the feminist movement.

You’re undermining every woman who fought to make marital rape a crime (it was legal until 1993).

You’re spitting on the legacy of every woman who fought for women to be allowed to own property (1848). For the abolition of slavery and the rise of the labor union. For the right to divorce. For women to be allowed to have access to birth control (Comstock laws). For middle and upper class women to be allowed to work outside the home (poor women have always worked outside the home). To make domestic violence a crime in the US (It is very much legal in many parts of the world). To make workplace sexual harassment a crime.

In short, you know not what you speak of. You reap the rewards of these women’s sacrifices every day of your life. When you grin with your cutsey sign about how you’re not a feminist, you ignorantly spit on the sacred struggle of the past 200 years. You bite the hand that has fed you freedom, safety, and a voice.

In short, kiss my ass, you ignorant little jerks.”

Libby Anne (via newwavenova)

(via beckbeckgoose)

blackcatkai:

3liza:

collaterlysisters:

inkdefense:

femmeanddangerous:

backto5oh5:

so if ya’ll haven’t heard, a lot of detroit residents have had their water turned off due to “outstanding bills”, some of $50 dollars or less. It’s gathered a lot of attention (probably bc it’s fucking disgusting) and national corporations like PETA have decided to do something about it!!! by paying off the water bills of detroit residents -who just have to agree to go vegan for a month. i am very angry, obviously, by the fact that WATER has been thrown around like a prize or a privilege in detroit and i’m really sad about this. 

(if you want to do something to help, you can pay the water bills [or parts of them!] of residents who have been affected by the shut off at detroitwaterproject.org)

((also if you know anyone personally who has been affected by the shut off, have the call in 211 hotline to be connected the united way services))

Dear fucking god this is disgusting. Literally bartering peoples human rights in exchange for adherence to their beliefs is so vile. I’m shaking with anger. How dare they use this flagrant denial of people’s rights as a PUBLICITY STUNT THE FUCKING AUDACITY OF THESE PRIVILEGED SHITBAGS IS OVERWHELMING.
and here i was hoping that PETA had decided to provide water access so that people can keep their pets alive or something. This is so much more petty and disgusting.

ewwwwww

also reminder that PETA doesnt actually give a shit about animals and euthanizes the vast majority of animals within its care, adoptable or not, and are in fact entirely a profit-making front using veganism and animal welfare as a convenient blanket of legitimacy

If you still love peta, you’re a problem. Fuck all of this shit.

(via danfawaz)

lunarianhippie:

mechinaries:

i imagine both steve and bucky like to come up with different ways to poke fun at sam every time they pass him during jogging

because they are shitheads

(the first one is a print you can get here)

If Maya was a dude she would look just like that Bucky lmao

pugletto:

I tried.

(via beckbeckgoose)